Perhaps you remember the hymn and often sung as a children’s song “Trust and Obey”. To jog your memory…
“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”
For me this refrain is an excellent summation of the themes of our adoption process. We have obeyed. The Lord called us to adopt and we said “Yes!”. Now comes the trusting piece. I have found myself wrestling with the Lord, the last few weeks especially. There have been tears of joy and frustration. As I look at different details and elements I begin to question the Lord. “Father, are you really going to provide all we need for this adoption?” “Father, do you see what’s going on here?” Basically I’m asking “Are your promises true? Are you really who you say your are?” It goes back to the garden when Eve first questioned if the Lord really loved her or if maybe, perhaps, she could do better in loving and caring for herself.
As I’ve wrestled with the Lord, He has graciously and gently reminded me in timely ways who He is. What a blessing and a gift! He is continuing to claim me as His child and remind me that He is The “I AM”. I am also learning that He delights to use His people to do His will! I can reflect on the last few weeks and He’s sent timely reminders in forms of phone calls, emails, text messages, snail mail notes, a sermon, and donations to our adoption fund. I can’t begin to describe the ways He’s been holding me in His hands and gently calling me to look to Him, to not forget that He who calls us is faithful to complete the good work He has started. Not only that but He delights in doing so!
I recognize that my wrestling with my own sin and doubt will likely be a struggle not only with adoption things but as I walk this walk of faith, I am so grateful that in the struggle He will never let me go and he continues to draw me to himself. I pray that throughout this adoption process He would continue to reveal Himself, His truth, and that I would be breaking my will and choosing His, that I would learn to die to self so that I would gain Him!